3 simple ways to understand forgiveness

forgiveness is choosing love

To forgive is an act of liberation from the wrongdoing by another person, group, or self. We can’t forget about ourselves when we talk about forgiveness, especially when it comes to our mental health. 

It can be really tough to forgive. It comes with patience and practice and usually starts when we’re young, learning what is right from wrong. So, I can assure you we have ALL been on both ends of forgiveness. 

Let me be clear, forgiveness is not condoning or excusing the act. It is merely releasing the anger, frustration, and consuming thoughts for liberation and peace of mind.

Letting go and forgiveness are two sides of the same coin. 

As much as it can be difficult to forgive, it is a learning lesson and experience that we all go through. I want to talk about the importance of this act because it plays a big role in moving forward with life and not allowing the past to control us. And it also plays a major role in our mental health. 

Big shocker: there is no way we can go back to the past… all we have is the present moment and the future.

Forgiveness is a real solution to move forward and on with life. Sometimes, the hurt of being betrayed by someone you care about can be devastating. It can make you feel resentful, hurt, and sad that something like that can happen to you.

You might not be able to think about forgiveness at that point, but the time will come where you will realise that the only way you can move forward is through forgiveness. I can tell you from experience that holding onto that hurt and resentment is only hurting you and is taking away from your precious time and energy and most importantly your peace of mind. 

I can assure you that the feeling the other party has is released when they express the truth and the guilt of withholding the truth. It works the same when you learn to let go and forgive. 

It will take time and practice, but here are 3 simple ways that helped me understand forgiveness. 

3 simple ways to understand forgiveness

1. Everyone is human and we all make mistakes

No one is perfect, including you and me. We all know this, but it doesn’t excuse hurtful behaviour. If you know you are doing something that will hurt someone or yourself, acknowledge it. Take responsibility and apologise. Yes, even to yourself. 

2. Listen and speak from a place of love

This one may not be so easy to do, especially learning something that might be heartbreaking. But, if you have the chance to hear the other person out, try to do so from a place of love because you cannot lose that way.

3. Be sincere 

In seeking forgiveness or forgiving, be sincere. There is nothing worse than asking for forgiveness, they forgive you and then continue to hurt that person. Or forgiving someone but not letting go of the situation where the anger is still within you. If you choose to forgive, but still need time away from that person/group, be clear about it. 

The turning point for me with understanding forgiveness was my peace of mind. I knew that nothing could change the hurt that was bestowed upon me besides forgiving the other person even if you choose to allow them into your life again or not.  

when it comes to self-forgiveness we are usually harder on ourselves than others

Forgiveness of others may be more commonly discussed, but what about forgiving yourself?

I can tell you right now, it is time to heal!

Maybe you were the one to hurt someone and feel pretty terrible about it. Well, you will also need to acknowledge that behaviour and learn where and why it happened (or continues to happen) and forgive yourself for hurting someone else.

Forgive yourself. The supreme act of forgiveness is when you can forgive yourself for all the wounds you’ve created in your own life. Forgiveness is an act of self-love. When you forgive yourself, self-acceptance begins and self-love grows.

— Miguel Ángel Ruiz Macías

These are things that I allowed myself to think about and be open to because I knew I had to get better with how I treated myself. How neglectful I was to pursue a life that is liberating and free and that I actually can let things go. It is learning to become completely and fully aware of your actions, acknowledging them, and being responsible for them. I learned that forgiving myself for being influenced by my negative emotions was the only way I can seek a better outlook on life. And only then could I truly forgive others. 

I hope you find during your personal journey that forgiveness, letting go and healing are so important to living a liberating life. Move with love, always.  

 

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